The Composed Crash-Out 💥🚗

I’m up vibing. I blame this caffeine I just drank. 😭😩

I was just reflecting about my reactions to shit. That’s where this title came from. You can call me, “The Composed Crash-Out” 💥. I was thinking about all of my crash-out moments. Then, I was thinking of myself, now.

The truth is, I turned from being an emotional crash-out to a composed crash-out. I started this soft-life journey to compose myself when I feel so strongly. My emotions are so strong & passionate. I got the kind of passion that causes tears & makes changes. So, I was like, I need to channel this passion, but where?!

So, I created this blog to help me keep-track on my journey & help me keep track of my transformation & transformative experiences while going through this. I’ve had a lot of ideas 💡 & so little time, lol! 😂 I decided minimize the crash-outs (& I still do be the doing the crashing of the outs [read this slow 😬]).

So far, I manifested the job I was aiming for when I started this blog over a year ago. Now, I’m getting out my situation & it feels amazing. I have a plan for school & channeling my artistic ideas. I’m just have to choose which one I want to channel all this into. But, I saw the artwork I was doing while I was out of it. The work had some trauma attached to it & I couldn’t focus on it because I was so emotionally charged about it. But, now, I see it & I can do something with it after a year. I gotta do things when I’m inspired & healed over it. If I don’t, it feels contrived & Ion like that,…. Smmfh.

My hustler energy is back & I don’t want my heart to cloud me up too much. I love it’s coming back to me, because, I missed this old part about me. As in, I got my spark back! When I got that win 🥇 with what I worked so hard for, I was like, okay, I still got it,…. Lmao! 🤣 Real hustlers know what I mean: the spark is an energy that only you can feel & I’ve never felt it be put-out until recently! But, I got it back when I reached one of my goal-posts!

I’m going back to my old self & it feels good! I’m re-evaluating all of my mistakes & I’m thinking of how I was influenced by my youth, but, I don’t regret none of that 💩,…. It’s definitely just a learning experience. I’m on a more mature path, now, & I’m finna apply pressure to all these ideas & lessons I’ve learned. It’s time to use them & make them beautiful. Last week, I think 🤔 I mentioned reflecting on our family’s trophy wall & realized, it wasn’t a fall, it was a redirection. This path is definitely a softer path & I’m manifesting what I set-out to do. Time is its own entity.

So, as a composed crash-out 💥, I decided it’s time for me to remember where I came from: we don’t quit & we don’t compromise work ethic. We invest in ourselves & we forget other people’s opinions. We don’t dwell on failures & broken glass. We learn & we clean it up & present ourselves with grace.

Step into your femininity. Step into your soft-life. Step into living for yourself & only giving access to people who have the privilege of your strongest trust.

I’m transforming & I think it’s interesting this is happening. I noticed that, today. I’m definitely preparing for something I’m not sure what it is. When I did my last transformation, it was planned & it happened because I had to compose myself different at the time. Now, this transformation has taken me completely by surprised. I realized, I felt like I was changing & evolving. It’s time for my soul to elevate, but, this time, only God knows what to & for what. What an experience,….

Trust the experience and go with the flow.

I walk in blessings, everyday. I start taking to random folks & be like, I definitely gotta mind my business, lol 😂 Like, we good on it, shawty, & you gotta figure-it-out, yourself, but, definitely I’ll be praying for you.

It’s time to go with the flow & definitely embrace & apply pressure to the direction God wants me to be at, right now.

It’s time to with the flow. & That’s why I call myself ‘The Composed Crash-Out’ 💥.

Cue my next transformation.

With much love,… 💕

Signed,

Sapph 💕 aka ‘The Composed Crash-Out’ 💥